brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
