Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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