SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
