forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
