You're completely useless in the revolution.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
