Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
