just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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