btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
