I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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