yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
