Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize