can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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