We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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