just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
