it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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