i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
