So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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