Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I will pee on everything he values.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
