It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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