Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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