it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
