is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize