I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
