no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
