I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
