U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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