What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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