dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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