I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
