all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
