It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
