When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
