Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize