My nipple is on Facebook.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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