why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
