I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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