Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
