You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
