Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
