this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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