so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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