Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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