so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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