We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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