also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Terrible idea I love it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
