I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Ambien. No doubt about it.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
