the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize