Need sex. Gaining weight.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
