Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize