I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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