two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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