In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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