You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
