In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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