My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
