So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize