remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
