she woke up with a sticky ear
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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